Why Long-Term Care Is the Silent Threat in Retirement — and Why We Need to Talk About It

I remember the day my mom got lost driving home from the grocery store.

She knew the route by heart. It was only ten minutes from the house. But that day, she forgot where she was, and how to get back. My phone rang, and on the other end was a woman I had always seen as strong, capable, and independent… asking for help. 

That was the moment everything changed.

My mother was diagnosed with early-onset dementia not long after. As her oldest daughter, I became the one helping to make the decisions no family wants to face: Where should she live? How do we keep her safe? What kind of care does she need now, and what will she need later?

At first, we found a rhythm. She moved into an independent living facility where she could socialize, eat well, and still have dinner with my dad every night. But as the disease progressed, her needs grew. She lost her balance. She started falling. Her ability to do everyday things — dress herself, manage her medications, even shower safely without risk of falling — slipped away.

Eventually, we had to face one of the most painful questions a family can confront:
Should my parents move into assisted living together… or should my mom go alone?

The emotional weight of that conversation was immense. But what made it bearable, what gave us the space to choose from a place of compassion instead of panic, was one simple fact: my parents had a long-term care policy.

We weren’t making decisions based on what we could afford. We were making decisions based on what would preserve dignity and peace of mind.

And that experience changed the way I see my work forever.

When I First Started, I Thought Long-Term Care Would Be Straightforward

In the early days of my practice, I believed long-term care would be a natural part of the planning conversation — just another element of building a sound, comprehensive strategy. 

But I quickly learned that even the most thoughtful, proactive individuals and advisors often paused when the topic came up. Not because they didn’t care, far from it, but because the conversation itself felt unfamiliar. Uncomfortable. Sometimes, it is even overwhelming.

It makes sense. Long-term care planning lives at the intersection of money, aging, family roles, and the unknown. Most people, understandably, aren’t sure where to begin.

That realization shaped how we approach this work today at Collaborative Insurance Solutions.

We don’t lead with products. We lead with questions — with education, conversation, and thoughtful design that brings both clarity and compassion to what can otherwise feel like a daunting topic.

Whether we’re working directly with individuals and families or alongside their trusted advisors, our focus is the same: helping people understand what long-term care actually looks like, what it costs, and how they can plan for it on their own terms.

Ultimately, this isn’t just about protecting assets; it’s about preserving dignity, independence, and the relationships that matter most.

The Financial Reality No One Puts in the Calculator

Most retirement planning tools don’t account for long-term care costs. Not because they’re irrelevant, but because they’re inconvenient. They add variables. They introduce uncertainty. 

And yet, the data is clear: 

• 70% of people turning 65 today will need some form of long-term care during their lifetime
  (Source: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Community Living, 2020) 

• The median annual cost for a private room in a nursing home is now over $116,000, and rising
  (Source: Genworth Cost of Care Survey, 2023) 

• In most families, women — typically daughters — provide the majority of unpaid care
  (Source: AARP & National Alliance for Caregiving, 2020) 

Here’s the part that’s rarely discussed: long-term care isn’t a moment. It’s a season. It unfolds slowly, and when it begins, it often catches families off guard — emotionally unprepared, logistically overwhelmed, and financially exposed.

Planning Is Power

Whether you’re an individual thinking about your own future, or an advisor trying to protect the families you serve, the path forward is the same: 

Start the conversation now.

Ask the questions that no one likes asking: 

• What does “quality of life” mean to me if I can no longer care for myself? 

• Who would I want by my side — and what role do I want them to play? 

• If I needed care tomorrow, where would I want to receive it? And how would I pay for it? 

When you answer those questions before you need to, you give yourself — and your family — the most important thing of all: options.

When you work with the right planning team, you don’t have to figure it out alone. At Collaborative Insurance Solutions, we collaborate with clients and their advisory teams to design long-term care strategies that are thoughtful, flexible, and built around real life.

Because the goal isn’t just to prepare for worst-case scenarios. 

The goal is to protect what matters most — and to make sure that when care is needed, the decisions are made from a place of strength, not stress.